in case of messages

Because I’m a professional worrier, I send back-up copies of my novel to Mark and myself almost every time I work on it.

I usually send an “in case of” message.

Here they are in all their neurotic, glue sniffing, illogical glory —

in case I start hanging out with the mad hatter and drink myself under the undertable
(Mark says this would be from chocolate liquor)

in case I commit hari kari with a dull letter opener at work and no one notices

in case my clone steals my soul and I’ll have to make do with a rubber ducky instead

in case, I start wearing a tinfoil hat and swear I’m receiving coded messages from Tom Cruise and the aliens
(on FB, Rich Koch pointed out – shouldn’t that be “and the rest of”? Also, be sure hat is properly grounded)

in case I’m drafted into the Icelandic army and you have to finish my novel for me

in case I need to join a mosh pit of sticky Martians

in case I want to make an elaborate ball gown entirely out of tiny purloined paper clips

in case I have to train a Yeti in table manners because that will take a lot of time, a lot of time

in case I decide to sell meth to small dogs and get thrown into the clink

in case I join the black ops circus of spoon wielding ninjas

in case I get kidnapped by mischievous furry elves from Idaho

for safe keeping until I come back from dancing the desperado tango on Mars

in case I’m abducted by fairies with overactive thyroids

About Andrea

Andrea DeAngelis is at times a poet, writer, shutterbug and musician living in New York City. Her writing has recently appeared in Timeless Tales Magazine, Umbrella Factory and Niteblade. ( Andrea also sings and plays guitar in the indie rock band MAKAR ( who are in the midst of recording their third album, Fancy Hercules.
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