Such a waster that lead singer Michael Hutchinson from INXS is dead. Heard Bitter Tears recently and thought of the song U2 wrote about his suicide – Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of .
I think of my friend Carmen who took her own life a little over three years ago, I think most about how she might have felt in that moment, what if she wanted to take it back and couldn’t, how more possibly alone could she feel than that moment, that she would be now stuck in forever.
I have struggled with a poem about it (the title of which is also this blog entry) but I find it hard to breathe when even thinking about it. We lose so many people so unnecessarily.
I think about how I failed her in this biggest way but also in the smaller ways that you fail everyone. About how back at Oberlin she wanted to go trick or treating our senior year (which was so like her) but I said no because I thought it was a ridiculous idea at twenty-one. I wish I had said yes. It wouldn’t have prevented what happened but it would be one more happy memory with her.